Choose Your Own Adventure 1: Haunted Homework-A

Friday, October 31st, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

This is part 2 of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” series. In case part 1 (Jules’ story) isn’t above, here’s the link. http://blog.theplainsman.com/2008/10/31/choose-your-own-adventure-1-haunted-homework/#comments

A

As you walk briskly down the street, a chilly breeze begins to blow. You bought your Darth Vader costume at the local Wal-Mart, and you realize the thin, cloth sleeves aren’t providing you with the warmth you desire. You could have bought the realistic Darth Vader costume, complete with voice changer and titanium armor, from online, but you blew your money last week at the local carnival on funnel cakes, churros, corn dogs, and fried Twinkies (and later on Pepto Bismol). You notice one of your geography classmates, who is dressed as an eskimo, sitting on the curb, cloaked with a parka. You weigh the pros and cons of stealing the boy’s parka. You are worried about removing an evil emperor out of his galactic empire and placing him in the Alaskan wilderness. You visualize Darth Vader wearing a parka and come to the surprising conclusion that he looks like a badass. You then consider how difficult it would be to forcefully remove the parka from your eskimo classmate’s back. After observing the techniques of the weight-guessing man at the carnival, you predict the boy is around 120 pounds–40 pounds lighter than yourself. The parka is easily yours, if you want it.

-IF YOU ARE STILL FEELING COLD AND DECIDE TO TAKE THE PARKA FROM THE BOY, CHANNEL YOUR INNER HIGH-SCHOOL BULLY AND CONTINUE TO A1. If not, read on.

You decide to leave the boy alone and keep moving. After walking for a few more minutes, you realize Simon’s house is still 10 blocks away. You decide to take a shortcut through the woods on your right. The woods would seem eerie and foreboding to a child, but you enjoyed your first taste of liquor (and the aftertaste of vomit) before the carnival last week, and you feel ready to take on anything. While crossing through the woods, a 42-year-old, balding man steps out from behind the tree and greets you. He notices your pillowcase is empty and tells you he has Skittles and Starbursts in his nearby van. You tell him you like neither of those candies. He asks you what candy you do like, and you tell him Butterfingers. He tells you he has Butterfingers in his van as well. You really do love Butterfingers, but the Force is telling you this man is a pedaphile.

IF YOUR DESIRE FOR CANDY IS OVERTAKING YOUR COMMON SENSE, AND YOU WANT TO FOLLOW THE MAN TO HIS VAN, CONTINUE TO B1. If not, read on.

You brandish your plastic light saber, and the man backs off. You stumble through the woods for a few more minutes, the dead leaves crunching under your feet. Upon exiting the woods, you spot a 4-foot-6-inch ghost shooting the basketball in his driveway. A pillowcase full of Halloween candy is safely nestled underneath the goal. You quickly stuff your empty pillowcase with leaves before approaching the little ghost. He watches you behind the safety of the sheet, through the eyeholes his mother cut out for him. Holding up your bag of candy (leaves), you make a small bet with him. The two of you agree to take one free throw each. Whoever makes the free throw gets to take the other boy’s candy. After practicing the basketball toss at the carnival last week, your stroke is in proper form, and you sink your free throw. The little ghost’s shot doesn’t even make it to the rim. As you pick up his bag of candy, his mother walks out of the house.

IF YOU LEFT YOUR CONSCIENCE AT YOUR HOUSE, AND YOU WANT TO TAKE THE CANDY AND RUN, CONTINUE TO C1.

Hopefully, you chose A1, B1, or C1. If not, read on.

You tell the ghost’s mother you were helping him sort out his Halloween candy. She offers you a pumpkin cookie. You take the cookie and walk the final block to Simon’s house while you nibble. You open the front door without knocking and walk inside. Simon and Meghan (dressed as Obi Wan and Padme) are making out on the couch. You are devastated, because you have had a crush on Meghan ever since the 5th grade. You had planned on removing your Darth Vader mask tonight under the moonlight and revealing your true feelings to her. You realize now why you turned to the dark side. You drop your plastic light saber on the floor and leave the house, carrying only emotional baggage that will stay with you well into your college years.

Choose Your Own Adventure 1: Haunted Homework

Friday, October 31st, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

You put the finishing touches on your Darth Vader costume (or Princess Leia, depending on your gender… or maybe you’re into cross-dressing) and head towards the front door. You try to slip out on a simple “Good-bye” shouted to your mother who is in the kitchen, pulling yet another tray of baked pumpkin seeds out of the oven. She of course rushes through the dining room to slow your depature, slapping reflectors on your back and drilling those same trite safety tips into your mind.

You finally manage to escape your house, and as you walk through your tombstone-ridden yard, complete with colored floodlights, fake vultures in the trees and waves of rolling fog, you don’t know whether you should be proud of the quality and work your parents put into the decorations, embarrassed by it all or just happy you have creators that can be something resembling cool on rare occasions, such as holidays, such as Halloween. Go ahead and choose one of these - it won’t affect what happens to you, it’s just an easy choose to ease you into the twisting and potentially perilous adventure you’re about to embark on. Plus, it’s good character development.

You head two stop signs down the street and wait under the street light where you’re supposed to meet your friends, Simon and Meghan.

You wait for about 10 minutes and watch as hoardes of children pass you by, their pillow cases already half-full of candy.

- SIMON AND MEGHAN ARE NEIGHBORS AND ONLY LIVE A FEW MORE BLOCK DOWN THE ROAD. IF YOU CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER AND WANT TO TRAVEL TO THEIR HOME, CONTINUE TO A, if not, read on.

You continue to wait, and you see some of those jerk from school walking down the side walk across the road. You can hear their worthless chatter, and it sounds like they’re making fun of your family. “Let’s go check out those freaks’ house,” one says. “Yeah,” one mindlessly shouts, just hoping to add something to the conversation that’s worthy in the eyes of their hair-gelled leader.

- IF YOU THINK YOUR PLASTIC LIGHT SABER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO THESE PUNKS, CONTINUE TO B, if not read on.

Your temper is staring to flare. Your friends are late, and those lame-os from school were just making fun of your family - not a good start to the night. Oh, look! Here comes a chance to blow off some steam. Some other kid from school is pedaling toward you on his bike in his blue Power Ranger outfit. You first think, “Honestly? The BLUE Ranger?” Then you realize it’s 2008, and the poor sap is wearing a Power Rangers costume. Luckily, there’s a broken broom next to you.

- IF YOU WANT TO RAM THE BROKEN BROOM INTO THE SPOKES OF THE KID’S BICYCLE, CONTINUE TO C.

Hopefully you chose A, B or C. If not, read on.

You decide to walk towards Simon’s house after 30 minutes of waiting. “Gah, these reflectors on my back are annoying,” you think. You take them off. As you cross the street, an H2 barrels your way. Luckily, the driver sees you at the last second and swerves, but slams into a mailbox. The mailbox sails into the air and lands at your feet, smashing into pieces. As the dust clears from the the mailbox, and after you stop trying to figure out while a cloud of dust exploded up from a mailbox, you see something lying in the debris. You bend over to pick it up, and dust off the object. You then realize it’s a copy of “Boat Trip,” starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horation Sanz. SCARY. You lose, big time. Happy Halloween.

Goosebumps, eh?

Friday, October 31st, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Here’s a Halloween-flavored post for today.
I’ve spent all afternoon in bed doing ITLabs for my computer class and watching a “Goosebumps” marathon on Cartoon Network. I really do love this low-budget show, with its goofy twist endings, but after watching five or six episodes, I’ve noticed something peculiar.

At some point during every episode, the main characters have a discussion where they try and make sense of the craaaaazy stuff happening. Once or twice I’ve heard the pre-teen being haunted or chased say, “Well, think aboot it.”

Not think “about” it. Think ”aboot” it. The only time I’ve ever been exposed to such a pronunciation has been episodes of ”South Park” where they lampoon Canadians. So, naturally, I’m curious about whether or not “Goosebumps” is Canadian. Turns out, it is.

According to Wikipedia, the most reliable Web site on the Internet: “Goosebumps is a Canadian children’s television series that aired on YTV in Canada, on Canal Famille in Québec, Fox Kids in the United States from 1995 to 1998, and airs around Halloween on Cartoon Network as of 2007 and on Jetix in Europe.”

I then remembered something else I’d read a long time ago. Also from Wikipedia: “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” is a science fiction/horror-themed children’s television series. The original series was a joint production between the Canadian companies YTV and Cinar, and the American company Nickelodeon. The show was filmed in Montreal, Quebec.”

So thanks for my two favorite scary childhood shows, Canada.

Tags: Halloween

Criticism incites anger from writer

Thursday, October 30th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Mistakes happen. It’s one of the universal rules of thumb. 

I even think there’s a rule named after a dude named Murphy. Yep, just checked Wikipedia and there’s definitely a universal law that states: “Anything that can go wrong will.”

That research aside, why do people FREAK out when there are mistakes? Take for example The Auburn Plainsman and its many mistakes. We staffers do try our very best to produce an error-free, professional paper every week, but mistakes happen. It’s not like we don’t have a six-point inspection process. We don’t just slap the stories on the page without once, most times at least twice, checking spelling, grammar and content.

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Getting into the Halloween spirit

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I’ve never been huge into Halloween, but for some reason I’m going all out this year.

I’m throwing a costume party this weekend, and I’ve been preparing for about a month now since I sent out the invites back in September. Needless to say I’m looking forward to cramming as many people as I can into my apartment.

I’ve got a costume (it’s a secret) that my mom made - yes, you read that correctly. My mom used to make my costumes when I was younger and she kind of volunteered to do it, so I figured I’d save myself $30 and have my mom do it for free.

I just carved a pumpkin for the party and plan on carving another one tomorrow. I carved one last year, but it was a lot harder than I remember. By the way, I don’t know if this is a dying tradition, but I went to four different stores before I found a carving kit. Ridiculous.

And to top it off, I just got sucked into watching Saw, Saw II and Saw III all in a row. I had only seen the first one before tonight, and I have to say I was pleasently surprised. After watching people get tortured for six straight hours, please wish me luck trying to sleep tonight.

Happy Halloween!

Christmas vacation…not just yet

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I get into Christmas every year. There is something about houses decked in lights, the scent of Christmas trees and a good Charlie Brown special on TV that just puts a smile on my face, but there is a time and a place for this type of holiday cheer and that time is after Thanksgiving.

Is it just me or has everything turned red and green way too early? I have gone into countless stores lately already stocked with Christmas decorations. I know it may feel like we will be walking in a winter wonderland any minute now with this abnormally cold October we are experiencing, but it’s not even Halloween yet.

I’m not trying to be a Scrooge, and while I have to admit I’ve started to compile my Christmas list, you won’t see me baking Christmas cookies or belting out Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” any time soon.

Besides, Christmas should be about spending time with loved ones, not commercial things. I know, I know, how much more cheese could I pile into one sentence, but you have to admit it’s true and not being able to walk into a Target right now without seeing a reindeer just goes to show how the holiday has become much more about products and less about sentiment.

This emphasis on Christmas takes away from the importance of the holidays that come before it, so while it is killing me to have to wait to share a few laughs with Clark and Cousin Eddie, my DVD of “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” will have to stay in its case until after Thanksgiving, out of respect.

It’s hard to look away

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Have you ever witnessed a train wreck? Literally speaking, probably not. Figuratively, you may have.

I’ve been witnessing one for about 4 years now. Someone I know has been on a slow, but steady, downward spiral….and may have hit rock bottom this past weekend.

This past week, they have had their cell phone taken by the police (because it is apparently some sort of evidence for a crime they are not technically involved in), their car has been taken away and searched for drugs and then they are due for their very first drug test sometime this week. Oh yeah, this person is probably not going to graduate high school either.

I know…issues, right? Trust me, this person has many. For the most part, it’s just a lack of priorities. How can someone just not care?

So this question has been asked by many people before….But how do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?

We keep thinking that this person will wake up and “see the light” and will want to change….but it never happens. If you want my opinion, it is the company they keep that puts them in that position. I know it’s great to have friends, but nearly all of their friends are not the kind of friends you need to have around you if you want succeed at…well, life.

But this person doesn’t accept that.

All I can think is: If a drug test and the seizing of your cell phone and vehicle doesn’t affect you…..what will?

P.S. Sorry this is so dramatic and depressing.

Journalist working with the nuts and bolts

Monday, October 27th, 2008 | Campus | No Comments

One of the best days I have ever had happened this past weekend at a high school robotics competition. No lie. I was decked out in full vertical black and white stripes and manned the field of robots trying to build an airplane. I’m not kidding. I took down the four-quadrant playing field while arguing over who got to carry which pieces up the hill to be loaded on the trailer. It seriously was an amazing day.

I volunteered for the all-day Alabama BEST competition in the Student Act.  I was a referee for the middle and high school boys and girls that have spent the past six weeks building a robot from supplied and obtained materials. Each team had to move airplane parts across a threshold and assemble the parts and attempt to “fly” the airplane all with the robot.

The passion these kids put into this single day made every second worth being there. Schools were dressed as Indians and did not stop dancing for a moment. Even though the individual school bands, consisting of no more than 10 members each, tried to out play each other and the D.J., it was still a great time. There were actually ear plugs for sale because of the excitement that filled the area.

I, being a journalism major, was definitely out-numbered by the engineering kids, but I stood out and made us, non-technical students, proud. P.S.- I am going to be one of the big, bad referees at SouthBEST, the important competition.  It is an experience for any major, even if you are reminded all day that you are not on an engineering path.

There was this one team’s battery that died, and they were disqualified for a round. The driver began to tear up and just like Pavlov’s dog, I began to swell up in response. I know how it feels to work so passionately and have a minor mistake set you back. I wanted to hug him, but I figured there were probably some rules against that.

The day was amazing. If you run into me over the next week, you won’t miss a moment of what happened. I stepped out of my routine surroundings and found something I could potentially love.

It’s Halloween Week?

Monday, October 27th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I must say, I have a case of the Mondays and I can’t even begin to think what I am doing this weekend, or much less that Friday is Halloween.

But, good thing I already got my halloween costume all together so I don’t have to worry about it later.

I completed my costume by buying a purple tutu this weekend. If I gave any of my friends one guess what I was going to be they would probably get it right. Actually, they’d probably say princess first, and then I’d say no and tell them to keep thinking Disney and they’d get it.

Hannah Montana.

I mean, c’mon doesn’t everyone want to walk around in a sequin dress with long blonde hair and a microphone and air guitar? Yea, I’m pretty sure, yes.

And I am so excited.

On that note- I saw High School Musical 3 this weekend and I’d say it’s the best one of the three, no question. Honestly, it reminded me how it’s my senior year too, and sooner than later I will also be graduating and saying goodbye to some amazing friends and an even better place. But, I really don’t want to talk about that right now.. not even think about it.. As for now, I’m living in the moment and that means Hannah Montana for Halloween! Woo!

iphone woes

Sunday, October 26th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 10 Comments

I recently got an iphone. So I’ve been trying to learn everything about it this past week. I can now successfully navigate around a foreign town and even text on that tiny little touch screen. I definitely love my new phone; however, there are some serious unnecessary problems with it. Don’t take me wrong.. I’m not trying to be that snotty spoiled child that is blessed to have a cool piece of technology, and then somehow find something to complain about.  But seriously?

1.       Picture texts. Not possible without using email. Apple is one of the most technologically advanced companies, and they can’t figure out how to picture text without spending 10 minutes going through email? It completely baffles it. Why give us this fast-acting camera that takes great pictures attached to a phone that can’t send/receive them? Even the cheapest camera phones have the capability to do so.

2.       Ringtones. I’m not gonna lie, I do kinda like my “boing” ringtone that came on my phone.. but after hearing that 20 times a day, it gets a little old. So today I went onto my itunes to create my own ringtones. I pick the perfect song and even decide what part I want it to play. When I click it, itunes lets me know that I can only create ringtones out of songs I actually bought off itunes. I understand that it is only 99 cents, but after buying the $15 CD and transferring it onto my computer, the last thing I want to do is buy it AGAIN just so it can be on my phone.

Anyone feel my pain? I do love my phone… and I would never go back to any of my old ones. But I guess nothing can be perfect.