Freetriplescore.com

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

While taking a break from studying organic during my week long study isolation from the world (I know, obviously not that isolated if I’m blogging right now, but hey, my phone did die my first night away, and I forgot my charger) I flipped on the ol’ tube to see what was going on in the world…corrupt politicians, riots, “call in gay day,” cold (but warming)… Anyway, during the first commercial break one of those “Head On” style ones came on. You all know it, and if you’re like me, you’ve made fun of the tongue twisted people making fools of themselves on national television. Well, in the safety of my isolation, I decided I’d have a go at saying “free triple score dot com” three times fast. IMPOSSIBLE!

Okay, not impossible, but definitely not easy. Only on the 5th attempt with incredibly focused, squinted eyes could I accomplish the feat. 

Moral: don’t hate, ‘presheate.

How not to fire someone

Friday, December 5th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

Somebody left this in the comments on one of our Tuberville stories yesterday, and I thought it needed to see a wider audience. On Wednesday, two women claiming to be the wives of two of our recently fired coaches called SportsCall on 93.9 The Eagle and explained how they found out their husbands were out of a job. I can’t speak to the validity of this, but the people at The Eagle believe it’s legit and have given these clips their own page with a little summary of the events that took place.

Coaches’ Wives on The Eagle

What did I do to deserve these?

Friday, December 5th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I must be misrepresenting myself in some way on my Facebook profile, because the ads I receive are not relative to my interests. Let’s tackle these one by one.

I do not have a religious affiliation listed on my profile, I’m listed as in a relationship, and this picture looks like it was taken in a bar. Yes, my profile says I’m interested in women, but my current relationship status should exclude me from any dating Web site advertisement, right? Either their ad software isn’t as targeted as they made it sound, or Christianity revised the rules since I last checked and cheating is A-OK.

Nowhere on my profile do I complain about my girlfriend. In fact, somewhere on there I state that hanging with her is one of my favorite things to do. I could maybe understand if it said, “I like hanging out with my girlfriend…except for two to seven days out of the month.” Also, how practical is this iPhone application, anyway? If I’m leaving town or suddenly unavailable EVERY time she (enter your preferred euphemism for her entering her menstrual cycle), she’s going to figure it out. I don’t have an iPhone anyway.

Come on, now! I don’t have “manscaping” listed as an interest on there. You won’t find any quotes about how much I love Nair. There are so many questions running through my mind about this ad. Did this model know when she took this picture, which was probably meant to emphasize how smooth her armpits were, that somebody was going to Photoshop in some mean looking hair on there. Would she have chosen a different facial expression? Should I make an appointment?

I can’t complain if I get ads like these in the future, however, because I gave all of these ads Thumbs Up because they were so funny to me.

The Incredible Journey

Thursday, December 4th, 2008 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Over Thanksgiving break I became a fan of geometry, often imitating a horizontal line. One day, I was at home on the couch doing my best horizontal line impression, when I received a call from my friend, Cole. When I answered the phone, the excitement in Cole’s voice barely allowed him to construct complete sentences. The four phrases I could decipher were “Ryan Cabrera”, “in concert”, “on TV”, and “right now”. I grabbed my remote and began flipping through the channels before Cole informed me that the performance was only on satellite TV. My parents are modest cable owners, so I knew I was about to make a short drive to Cole’s house. Cole informed me Ryan had yet to play his hit, “On the Way Down”, and if I hurried, I just might make it in time to see it. Unable to pass on a chance to see the Voice of our Generation in a TV concert, I grabbed my keys and sprinted out the of my house, leaving the door open behind me. I jumped into my car and backed out of my driveway before peeling out at the bottom. The drive to Cole’s house is usually 10 minutes. I knew I could make it in five if I hurried. About halfway there I noticed those infamous blue and red lights flashing behind me. I checked my speed–78 in a 35. I was definitely speeding. But, there was no time to pull over when “On the Way Down” could be coming on any minute. So, I kept going. About a minute later I turned onto Cole’s street. I could see him standing in his front yard, jumping up and down and waving his arms ferociously, like a member of the airport traffic control staff. As I pulled up to his house, I knew there was no time to stop. I opened the door while the car was still moving and slammed the gearshift into neutral, before jumping out and doing a somersault into the front yard. My car finished it’s journey in the company of a mailbox. While we sprinted toward his house, Cole informed me that “On the Way Down” would be coming on any second. I noticed the reflection of police lights in Cole’s glass door as I slammed it behind me. Cole’s sweet mother stood in the hallway, ready to greet me. I quickly breezed by, ignoring her greetings. There was no time for polite chatter. Ryan Cabrera was on satellite TV. As we quickly ascended the stairs to the attic, Cole slipped and fell. I briefly considered saving him before deciding that would be a poor decision. I stepped on his back, giving myself an extra boost and propelling myself into the room. I collapsed on the ground, just in time to see Ryan announce “On the Way Down”. I made it! I watched the song from my stomach, as the police officer cuffed my hands behind my back. I tuned out the officer’s shouts to make the following observations: 1) Ryan Cabrera traded his acoustic guitar for an electric guitar. 2) Ryan Cabrera now looks like a pirate.

loveable teen idol and voice of our generation

menacing pirate (but still the voice of our generation)

Effort required in this course? ..Excellent

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Just got done with my 5th professor evaluation this semester and probably my 100th since I’ve been at Auburn.

I don’t know about you, but I fill every single one in the same way.  If the class was decent, I just bubble in “excellent” for every single response. If the class was boring, then “Good” becomes the only response for every question. Every class the grade expectation is “A,” and the effort was 2 hours or less per week.

Do teachers actually go over their scantron scores?  Are they actually used by the university to judge a professor? Doubt it.

I think the scantron portion of the evaluation should be thrown out, and if people feel like evaluating their professor they can leave actual written comments on the second sheet about how the class went. The bubble responses are way too vague to have any relevance to the quality of the class.

The lights are off, but everyone is home

Monday, December 1st, 2008 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Blackout. No, I’m not talking about what happens when you go out, drink too much and can’t remember what happened the next day. I’m talking about the warm welcome I got when I returned after Thanksgiving break, my power went out, just as I sat down to write a paper.

Apparently I am not alone, fellow residents of Magnolia Ave. also experienced this. My question is what was the cause and why did it take over two hours to fix it.

Possible reasons I have heard include the wind knocked out the power or someone hit the power box. If you have any other theories, please comment below.

Was anyone else inconvenienced by this?

Irrational fears

Monday, November 24th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

The other day while studying in the library, I did something I tend to do about every 10 minutes when I’m studying in public — pull out one of my earbuds to make sure I’m still the only one enjoying my “Turkey time” playlist.

I study in fear that the cord will slip out without me realizing it or my computer will just decide to blast my music out loud.

 As I replaced the ear bud, reassured no one else could hear “Single Ladies,” I realized this paranoia is pretty irrational, which led me to think about what else I am irrationally afraid of. I’m sad to say I came up with quite a few. Here’s the list:

 -the phone (this entails several fears: that it will ring in class, getting a call from a number I don’t recognize, my tendency to be awkward on the phone)
-maggots
-parasites, aneurisms and other medical rarities (thanks to a mom who’s a nurse and too much Grey’s Anatomy and e.r.)
-speaking out in class. particularly while speaking Spanish
-bees
-taking things out of the oven
-static electricity (and actual electricity for that matter) 

So do you have irrational fears? Post them and let me know I’m not alone!

Atlanta roads = confusing

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I felt completely lost in downtown Atlanta no less than 10 times this past Friday night, attempting to navigate to and from Fort Macpherson to downtown and back. And honestly, it wasn’t even Mapquest’s fault.

Atlanta’s road management people apparently think it’s a great idea to have roads randomly change names, fork in three different directions and in many cases not even have road signs.

Riding with my girlfriend to the Coca-Cola Factory felt like trying to solve one of those Rubik’s cubes. Every time we made some progress or got seemingly closer to our destination, we would all of a sudden be on the wrong road going to the complete wrong direction. After finally getting there and then leaving later that night, we ended up 5 miles north of downtown instead of on 75-S after following 75/85-S signs.

It wouldn’t have been a huge problem except that Atlanta has a lot of “rough” parts of town that you don’t necessarily want to come to a complete stop in your vehicle if you can help it.

Long story short, when traveling in ATL it’s much easier safer to take the interstate instead of the back roads, and I need a GPS system for my car ASAP.

False Hope

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

The sofa in my apartment’s living room is broken. The wooden boards that are supposed to support the cushion no longer fit, so instead of interlocking to form a bridge, they now collect in piles under the sofa’s frame. Whenever I sit on the sofa, I immediately sink, and my knees become level with my chest. Wedensday night, I was sitting on my quicksand sofa, ”enjoying” a pepperoni Hot Pocket, when I heard a distinct, melodic tone. I grabbed the remote and put the O’Reilly Factor on mute, hoping to pinpoint the sound’s origin. The note sounded like it was being produced by the lead actress from Phantom of the Opera (or at least from Cats). It was very faint, yet beautiful, and it resonated throughout my apartment’s walls. After much effort, I left the sofa in search of the sound’s creator. I was Odysseus, and I was being drawn by the voice of the Sirens. I climbed the stairs to my room, now walking as if in a trance. My room was silent, so I wandered back downstairs to search the remainder of the apartment. In the process, I mentioned the sound to my roommate, and after sharpening his ears, he quickly became entranced. We floated around the apartment like two rusty nails caught in the middle of a magnetic field. The magnetic pull of the melody took us outside the apartment and down to the first floor of the building. As I approached the door of the apartment below us, I expected three mythical goddesses draped in cloaks of white to greet me. Instead, I was greeted by a droopy-eyed bassett hound who wouldn’t stop howling. The disappointments in my life are never-ending. I went back inside my apartment and hopped into the crater on my sofa, cranking up the volume on the TV and tuning in to Papa Bear’s words of wisdom.

Still growing

Friday, November 21st, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I thought I was supposed to be finished with the whole growth spurt thing a long time ago.

I have been 5′6 since I was in middle school. But when I put on a pair of my jeans from last winter, I got a surprise - they were too short.

I checked the tags to make sure they were the right size. It said 2 regular. That’s me. Or at least it used to be until I hit my unheard-of-for-college-aged-girls growth spurt.

I was shocked, but I knew I had to handle the situation. So I went shopping for new jeans.

I tried on 2 longs, and they actually fit. Which is really weird, because I remember wishing I could wear longs instead of regulars.

I’m the shortest person in my immediate family, and I always wished I could be tall like my mom and my sister (they are both 5′10).

I would try on the long jeans, and they would swallow my legs whole. And now, a few years and unexpected inches later, they fit.

Sorry, Sis. No more short jokes.